01. Pick 30 seconds of a recorded interaction (bonus points for videotaped).
02. Watch/listen to it at least 800 times, or until you convince yourself it’s one of the most important documentations of human beings that has ever existed.
03. Transcribe it (note: this will take longer than watching it the first 800 times).
04. Assemble your List of Impressive-Sounding Jargon:
05. Arrange words in list to form grammatically correct sentences. NOTE: make sure that sentences are long enough so that, when read aloud, it is necessary to take a breath before reaching the end.
06. Repeat until you fill ~26 pages.
07. In front of random sentences, go back and add phrases like “In a word,” or “In brief.” This will make it seem like you’re trying to be concise.
Example: “In brief, though instruction was central to what both the archaeologists and the expert witnesses in the courtroom were doing, within each setting learning processes, encompassing participation frameworks, and modes of access to relevant phenomena were shaped into quite different kinds of events by the alternative ways that interaction was structured.”
08. Liberally cite your three other colleagues.
09. Get published. Become distinguished. Amen.
Why do humans create and respond to music?
Our kiss is a secret handshake, a password.
We love like spies, like bruised prize fighters,
Like children building tree houses.
Our love is serious business.
One look from you and my spine reincarnates as kite string.
When I hesitate to hold your hand,
it is because to know is to be responsible for knowing.
The best part about this, besides the drawings, is the fact that apparently it answers a common question. Where has my brain been that I haven’t thought to ask this?